When applying for my B.Ed I was asked to write an essay on why I wanted to become a teacher. After having spent many years in dead-end, soul sucking, no-brainer jobs, I had just discovered the delight in spending my days navigating chilidren through our wonderous world. The opening line of my essay read: “Working with children over the past few years has provided me with an unprecedented joy” (Now it’s the smelly stickers, novel post it notes and summer vacation that sustain me, but that’s a story for another post). Until yesterday, I had not recognized a joy like that since writing the essay.
My day may seem like any other habitual day in your life, or mine; the sky was overcast and the sun did not shine, I took my Scooby Baby for a nice long walk in the woods as I do every weekend, did my house cleaning. Nothing exciting right? Wrong! I had such a fabulous day.
For over three hours I listened to C100 FM via internet and danced around my house doing my chores. “Did she just say danced around doing chores?” Yes, I did! I swept and mopped the floors, cleaned the bathroom, did laundry, stripped the bed, did the dishes, all the while singing and smiling; I was bursting with positive energy. I was JOYOUS.
Oh, of course I have felt positive feelings before, gone so far as to think, “Yes, I am happy today”. I have contemplated happiness in other posts, https://randommusingandoccasionalrants.wordpress.com/2011/05/ and like many others, been in pursuit. But I can’t remember when I felt so in the moment, enjoying simple tasks, anything, for a brief, let alone a sustained period of time.
I have paid good money (to therapists, spas, cheescake makers) and spent hours in rumination/meditation/brain frustration, all in the name of feeling at peace and in the moment. I fantasize about out running the cheerless cloud of depression, the way other women fantasize about looking good in a bikini (well, every now and then I do imagine myself and Steve McGarrett on the beach and I do look quite sassy in my two piece). Although all of those things have played a part, especially a “spot on” therapist, I have to say the kicker has been my recent lifestyle change.
Holy s*@&! I swear I would not have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes.
I’m sure you’ve heard of the saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come”, or some catchy anecdote like that. I am such a slow student (just ask Mumsy), but I suppose from years of skirmish, I must have been primed and ready. Again, not yet with the confidence I aspire to, I say to the world: Bring it.
Please share your thoughts with me. What keeps you in the moment? What are you ridiculously happy about? Check out the lyrics to this song (LOVE it): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZhQOvvV45w&ob=av2e
Random Musings and Occasional Rants 